So this is how it is, this learning to live again; this living with the sorrow and withoutness. Another  lingering look back, not wanting to forget.

I shall not forget.

There comes a time to move on, a time to learn to live again. To learn to live without.

To live with it, my grief and sorrow; that emptiness which once she filled. My memories.

Her love.

For love does not die. I love. She loves still.

But not here.

And so the space which once was her filling and her loving is my withoutness. I do not want the space to be filled with other people, other things and so I must, I need, to learn to live with it.

From here until.

“Finally, be strong in the Lord and in His mighty power.” Ephesians 6:10

Not the finally as we often think of finally – in our terminology that means “I’ve got to the end at last.”

Like a long sermon.

No, for I shall not get to the end of my withoutness.

But “from now on, from now until the end.”

From now on it will be like this.

She will be missed and at times the withoutness will recede. Then it will crash back and overwhelm. This is how it is to be.

Withoutness does not pass; it is not some passing whim.

It is here to stay.

But from now on , from now until the end, there can be strength in the Lord and in His mighty power.

He does not pass and there is no withoutness with Him.